My full and formal name is Count Zeto Pantaleone Ulderico. I know this name is quite a mouth-full, but it is the name that has been given to me and I am stuck with it. I am a Roman Count, so to you that maybe synonymous to fame, fortune, and possibly the cover of People, however, I am an obscure Count, living in an obscure castle, in a somewhat obscure universe.
This book is about me, and my life and how one night changed the pathway of my existence when I allowed myself to be talked into a night adventure by my third cousin, Muccino Alberdini. I am sure you are asking yourself, how I allowed myself to be railroaded by this smooth talker and against my better judgement I might add, into leaving Ulderico Castle with him that fateful night, and without my ever-present mink security? Had I lost my mind? I'll tell you how, by challenging my male minkhood and also under the guise that I needed to experience, first hand, how the "other half" live. As I relay this, keep something in mind...I have night-blindness. I also have some issues with my tracking and scenting abilities, so it doesn't take a neurosurgeon to figure out that I would have had to become very dependent upon my cousin whose stomach usually dictates the majority his decisions, and this was my very first mistake in a series of many! So how did we end up on a mink farm ...? You are just going to have to read the book to find out!
My name is Muccino Alberdini, however all my friends and acquaintances call me Mooch. Okay, so occasionally I borrow of few bucks, or bum a meal here and there. So what! Hey, what are friends and family for if you can't borrow, bum or freeload from time to time, right?
I suppose most of you have noticed that I maybe a little overweight, but my male magnetism more than makes up for this tiny weight problem. I love food and if it means a few extra pounds around the middle, then who am I to complain?
My cousin, the Count of Ulderico, a mink I have tried to rehabilitate from his stiff upper-crust blue-bloodedness, has tried, on numerous occasions, to kill me with sheer boredom and one evening, after droning on about a bunch of dead relatives that had in one way become articles of clothing around famous humans' necks (for the umpteenth time) I just snapped! Let me tell you, Zeto isn't the easiest mink to like. He is hard-headed, vain, pampered and one of the most hoity-toity minks you'll ever meet, you know the kind...the ones that never leave their castles without a clean-pressed shirt and tie -that kind, and I have tried to loosen him up and make him a bit more down-to earth.
One night, as remarkable as this must sound, he accepted my offer; a chance of a lifetime really, to go on a night adventure, without his ever-present goons, to experience how normal minks live. Okay, so the evening in question didn't go exactly as planned, but at least I tried. So we end up on this lunatic's mink farm, and everyone is pointing a finger at me, like I planned it or something...Jez, give a mink a break!
My name is Adrianna Benini and I just received a full professorship at the University of Rome and had worked only one week when my niece Marcellina, inadvertently stepped into a mink trap while we were out on one of our "nature walks" and in trying to grab and get her out of the way, we were captured and taken by a subhuman named Guiseppi Tucci. This is where I first laid eyes on the Count of Ulderico. I thought he was one of the most arrogant, self-aggrandizing and spoiled males I have ever met, but then when it was discovered that he had never hunted a day in his life and had no night vision or scenting abilities, I kind of felt sorry for him. In life, he had so many more opportunities than the rest of us in Shed 1, but I soon discovered that we were the ones with the edge now. His life of privilege had taken away his independence and self-reliance, not that it had to, but it did.
As I got to know the Count, I soon discovered that he had many layers and my initial impression of him began to waiver Being that he was a close relative of our new sovereign, Prince Montega, I could see that his sheltered life and position had hidden a beautiful but lonely heart, a heart that made mine beat a little faster whenever he was near. Could I be falling in love? No, not this level-headed female I told myself. How many females before me had lost their heart to his irresistible charm? I did not care to speculate!